Beautifully Unwrapped

Resetting Now to Rise Up Later

One doctor told me 'you can run'.

    I laid out my own version of 'Fall off the Bleachers to 5K'. 

        I picked my next starting line.

            I bought new shoes!!

And. Then. Yesterday's. Doctor. Visit.

Yeah, well, let's just say I should have spent that $100 at Godiva instead of the Running Store. 

    Reset.

        Again.

The runner in me wants to defy the instructions.

    I NEED to feel the pavement under my feet.

        I NEED to feel the lactic acid burn.

            I NEED to feel the freedom of miles on a trail.

The nurse in me is choosing to care for my brain and put the shoes away until another day.

A broken dream now presents an opportunity to Rise Up & move a mountain later.

) 

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You're Home

Hug her, say the words, spend the time...

       One day she will be home.

 

Middle School Girl - Yikes!

My daughter is one of the most amazing people I have ever met.

And, I am not just saying that because she is mine.

I could type for hours the respect and love I have for her.

But, for the next minute let's talk middle school girls - yikes!

    Um....yeah.

They are insecure.

    They are catty.

        They are mean.

            They are moody.

They need our compliments.

    They need our guidance.

        They need our unconditional love.

            They need our hugs.

Every time I step back and really watch what is going on the mind of my 13 year old girl,

    I see myself as 13 and I remember,

I was scared,

    I was confused,

        I was self-loathing,

I needed a true friend.

I needed my mom to love me, believe in me, and hang with me,

    cause I did grow out of being middle school girl,

        and so. will. every. middle. school. girl - Yay!  :)

4 Years of Being ONE to Someone

4 years ago I told my mom it was ok to let go and run to Jesus.

As I prepared her memorial video I was struck by all the comments from people whose lives had been changed simply because my mom cared about them.  

Nothing fancy.

    Nothing expensive.

        Nothing newsworthy.

            Everything with love.

Since she has been gone the Lord has placed numerous opportunities in my life to be ONE to Someone.  

Sometimes I got the memo.

    Sometimes I missed the message.

My mom's life is a beautiful reminder that we CAN make an impact on others, simply by being ONE.

 

 

BBs in the Bathroom

As I cleaned the boys' bathroom I found at least 30 little white plastic pellets that were intended to hit whomever was the poor soul 'on the pot'.

My boys too ofter have this hankering to stick their airsoft guns under the door. And. Fire!

The one who is in various steps of doing what we all do in the bathroom is stuck with No. Where. To. Go. 

I can usually tell when the guns have come out and this cruelty has been unleashed.

    There are loud screams. 

       Then I hear, "MOM!".

            And, then pounding that I am sure one day will bring a boy through my ceiling.

These moments...

The ones that drive me crazy,

    The ones that make me question every choice I made as a parent, 

        The ones that cause me to fear for my future daughter-in-laws,

            That bring the scolding to their faces, but a giggle when they are not around, 

Are the ones that add up to a beautiful life.

Thank you Jesus for the BBs in the bathroom and all that those pellets represent. 

                

 

Becoming a Master Mason

From miles to milimeters can feel like the world may be well on its way to complete destruction.

    But starting over can be an opportunity to rebuild ourselves.

        When we start anything we are novices - we make beginner mistakes.

            When we rebuild we are able to lay a superior solid foundation to prevent cracks later.

We start over.

    We press on.

        We rebuild.

            We become the master mason to ourselves.

"I will follow, I will press on
Even when the walk feels long...

Through the broken, through the victory
I will praise You through it all!"

 

When I’m alone, when I’m afraid
When I have had all I can take
Losing my grip, I start to slip away
When I can hear the voice of doubt
Inside my head, screaming loud
Strengthen my faith, and help me say
Today, today

I will follow, I will press on
Even when the walk feels long
Your hands hold me together
Your love is with me forever
Through the broken, through the victory
I will praise You through it all
And run hard ‘til the race is done
I, I’m gonna press on, press on
I’m gonna press on, press on

How many storms have I been through
How many led me right to You
You’re using the pain, the hardest days
For my good, my good
So what do I fear
God, You are with me
Guiding my steps today
Through the mountains, valleys, sun and rain
Lord, lead the way, lead the way

I will follow, I will press on
Even when the walk feels long
Your hands hold me together
Your love is with me forever
Through the broken, through the victory
I will praise You through it all
And run hard ‘til the race is done
I, I’m gonna press on, press on

One step in front of the other
No looking back, no looking back
One step in front of the other
I’m gonna press on, I’m gonna press on [x2]

I will follow, I will press on
Even when the walk feels long
Your hands hold me together
Your love is with me forever
Through the broken, through the victory
I will praise You through it all
And run hard ‘til the race is done
I, I’m gonna press on, press on
I’m gonna press on, press on

One step in front of the other
No looking back, no looking back
One step in front of the other
I’m gonna press on, I’m gonna press on

Never Beyond Repair

Panic has set in.

    I worked so hard to get the miles back up.

        I'd set my mind on Cleveland Marathon.

It's my home town.

    It's a beautiful race.

        Its the place I ran 2 hours before my mom's memorial.

            It was going to be my redemption finish line.

But....that stupid step!

Injuries do funny things to runners.

    We panic.  We obsess.  We worry. 

        The 'what ifs' flood in.... we lose sight of the blessing in the healing.

Regardless of the new 'normal' in our life ~ we are never beyond repair.

    Repair will & does come.

       It may or not be the way we want it...

        ...but we do repair.

Muscles release, heartaches lessen, tendons reconnect, grace is found:  A new normal is created. 

Our bodies & souls are never beyond repair

    of the One who created & died for us. 

If we keep our eyes on the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the panic will subside & peace will set in. 

    Then, we can rest in the trust that He will work it all out for our good, however that looks!

"You’re not beyond repair
Grace meets you anywhere
And the mess of your heart
Is where love’s gonna start
Cause you are, never beyond repair
You’re never beyond repair

For all of your pain there’s a father who hurts
For all of your hurt there’s a healer who works
You’re never too far from his reach
So just believe, just believe"

      

That was one for the running playlist ~ here's the link for an acoustic version  :)    

And the story behind the song...

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New Day Coming

While I am a Gaither kinda girl, I do love me some Creed. 

    I have struggled with some of the band's lyrics & deleted many of their songs.

        Scott Stapp just released his second solo album this week ~

            He has changed his focus & is learning the redemption found in God's arms...        

                and now you know what has been in my ears for the last 48 hours.

New Day Coming has been placed on My Running Playlist:  

    I am looking forward to my very first 'back from The Fall run'!

(Learn more about Scott's story & the other songs on the CD here)

 

When Your Next Marathon Won't Be...

196 days 21 hours  29 min  and  54 seconds from now I will NOT be standing at my beloved start.

My heart and soul are so broken that I can not run my next 26.2 back home in Cleveland.

    Only if one is a runner does she fully grasp how much that first sentence hurt to type.

        More painful is that first sentence isn't a result of overtraining, undertraining or my choice

            An incorrectly placed bleacher step has brought all running to a halt - UGH!

What to do when you are so far away from the starting line?

    What to think when jealousy creeps in when you see runners on the sidewalk?

        What to pray when you are not sure that you will ever see mile 26 again?  :(

You Just. Keep. Moving. Forward!

    It might be millimeters instead of miles.

        It might be pool water instead of trails.

            It might be physical therapy instead of starting lines.

                But it is movement once again towards whatever God has in store for you.

And, while you're movin' millimeters here are my favorite "This ain't keeping me down sayings".

1. Strength shows in not only the ability to persist by the ability to start over.
2. You can throw in the towel or you can use it to wipe the sweat off your fact.
3. Don't fear moving forward slowly:  Fear standing still.
4. One day this pain will all make sense to you.
5. Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind ~ Psalm 26.2
6. I may not be there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday.
7. Nothing is impossible.  The word itself says I'm possible.
8. Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about.
9. If you give up now, then what was the point of everything
10. When I can do the best I can with what I have, then I have won the race.
11. Never let your mind bully your body.
12. You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.~ Deepak Chopra
13. Your body made children.  You can put one foot in front of the other for 26.2 miles.
14. But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds ~ Jeremiah 30:17
15. Give up giving up!
16. Runners:  Ignoring doctors since forever
17. You decide every moment who you are...You get a second chance every second.
18. Make your choices reflect your HOPES, not your fears.
19. Let us run with perseverence the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eye on Jesus ~ Hebrew 12:1-2

These are just a few of the words that are keeping  my mind on the prize and my fears behind me.

I'm not sure where the injury will leave me.

    I am sure that I will fight for what is possible,

        Then, leave the rest up to a God who loves me more than I love the marathon. 

            "Sometimes we fall before we finish"

 

 

The Stench of Blessings

Being an admitted OCD Germaphobe I am always struggling with how my home smells.

    However, I do not believe in just covering stink with chemicals.

        Therefore, the foulness is directly proportionate to the cleanness.  

Having fallen last month and severely injured my back & neck, my poor home has definitely been cheated out of its usual meticulous attention.

Basketball laundry is brewing in its sweat.                                

    Dog hair is changing the color of my carpet.                                                

       Shoe aroma greets guests at my front door.

           Dust & tabletops have replaced pencil & paper.

This morning as I was greeted by the 'this home needs cleaning' smell my self ranting was halted with one word;     

    Blessings

That stench means blessings abound & life is moving & my family here.

    I get to watch basketball games.

        My dogs love me even if I can't clean.

            Stinky shoes mean jobs, ambulation, & play.

                A significant ingredient in dust is human skin - 6 people I love live in this home

                    (OK, I am still working on finding peace with the dust, but you get my point right?) 

So today I will try to turn my titanical thinking around:

When I mumble, "Man, this house stinks," ~

    I will rebuttal with, "That, my dear, is the Stench of Blessings!"