This is Who I Am

Who are YOU?

What roles do you play?

How often are those roles changing; even as frequently as minute by minute?

How much and often do we allow ourselves to be EVERYTHING we are?

Who did God create you to be?

Who is God CREATING you to be?

These are questions I've been mulling around in my 41+ year old brain....and, this morning I think I heard Him answer my question of WHO He wants me to be......

His answer?.....

"That's just it my child, for today, You are developing where and becoming exactly who I want you to be."

Wow ~ I stepped out of the shower with a lighter step and a renewed perspective of who I need to be......ME!

While that may not seem like such a life-changing answer to many, I have a feeling it would free a large number of this site's readers to live life in a different way.  Our closets of many hats get so full of who others think we should be that we lose sight of who we, and God, says we truly are.

Sure we are the mothers, wives, daughters, employees and bosses that our daily lives and responsibilities require of us.  But, it is OK to also be the scrapbooker, athlete, dancer, artist, or designer we enjoy being.  In fact, without allowing ourselves the opportunity to do and be what we enjoy, we are cheating God, our family, and, ourselves out of reaching our full potential.

Why the revelation?

While I ran this weekend, I spent the entire 10 miles burdened with overwhelming guilt and feeling downright miserable about the fact that my daughter was sitting home without me playing with her.  I bounced back and forth from being the athlete training for a spring marathon to the mom who believed her family couldn't make it a couple hours without her.  So, I cheated myself, didn't finish my scheduled 16 miles, came home and played Wii with her.  And, for the last 48 hours I've questioned my priorities:  Am I selfish for focusing on myself and doing something I love to do?  Perhaps I should just set my desires and goals aside and focus on the ones who need me.  Or, is setting aside a couple hours for myself a few times a week making me a better mom, wife and child of God?

Running is my sanity ~ my escape ~ my 'solve the problems of the world while I make my grocery list' time ~ my one on one with Jesus time ~ my opportunity to answer to myself, push myself, be myself, and, create myself.   While yes, it may be a few hours away from my family, it rebuilds me and makes me stronger to be the rock they need.  To not take that time for myself truly does cheat each member of my family ~ why would I ever dream of selling us all short? 

What's your sanity?  Is it that weekly scrapbooking night with your friends?  How about the women's Bible study?  Is it a few minutes each morning gardening, watching the birds at the feeder or reading His Word? 

Satan wants us to become distracted.  He doesn't want us to be at our best.  If he can keep us from renewing ourselves, we are less of a threat to his kingdom. 

I challenge ALL OF US to acknowledge what renews our spirit and souls, deflect the guilt laden arrows satan shoots at us, and allow ourselves to do something we enjoy.  Not only can our family survive a few hours without us, but, by becoming who we truly are, our loved ones will be stronger through us.

Comments

[Tina]

Oh, girl! I am so there! Thank you for giving voice to what's been on my heart recently. Something about turning 40 really causes struggles like these in our lives as women, in my personal opinion and personal experience, of course, and I, too, have been struggling with the voices of my identity. I've only recently come to recognize that I've even built a wall unconsciously that keeps me from letting His love completely wash over me. I'm working to do better and I'll admit I'm not there. I have recently given myself permission, though, to spend time doing the things that bring me joy, praying for a healthy balance. God is so good and loves me and delights in me in spite of myself and I'm trying to learn to love me, too. Easy? No. Possible? Of course! Because I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Keep running and keep expressing yourself creatively. Let His love wash over You and then let it overflow onto someone who's feeling unlovely. God bless you!